Our family has a special lady in our lives, whom we’ve affectionately nicknamed “Mamaw.” My husband and I met her and her daughter at church the first Sunday after we moved to Mississippi from Texas. Her daughter Barbara had been alerted to the day of our arrival by a mutual friend in Texas, and she greeted us after church with a warm hug and a pan of homemade Ooey Gooey Butter Cake. No kidding. Well, as you may imagine, we were bound forever as dear friends. It’s the way of the deep South.
Since 1999, we’ve included Mamaw and “Baba” in every Thanksgiving that I can remember.
Mamaw has been chronically ill for longer than I’ve known her, and Barbara has been her devoted caretaker. When Mamaw gets close to a milestone, we plan parties for her with baited breath. Just like the Energizer Bunny, she makes it to her milestone with flying colors. She’s so tough that she recently beat a terrible case of COVID-19. Amazing!
She is a living doll, with a way of conversing that makes you focus carefully on listening while trying to smother a smile. One of her dearest friends in the world once told me, “She can butcher the King’s English like no one else!” With her extreme Southern twang and unique vocabulary, she makes the most of every opportunity to tell someone, anyone, about the goodness of the Lord. If there’s only one true Southerner in this world, it is Mamaw.
Two years ago, her daughter pulled me aside and asked if we could plan a surprise 90th birthday party for her mom. We set a date on a Saturday in November near her actual birthday and got to work. I started out with a guest list, but Barbara simply took a picture of the invitation I made and texted it to Goodness knows how many people. I started getting TONS of RSVPs, and I started getting nervous! I can usually lean on my sister’s family for help with these things (more about that later), but my sister was becoming an empty nester and had already made plans to be out of town that weekend! I knew parking might be an issue in my small neighborhood as well as the steep stairs leading to the front porch. My only real requirement for Barbara had been that we not invite many children as I have an easily accessible swimming pool, but no life guards available!
I believe in easy entertaining, so I started working on the simplest menu I could design. Sam’s Club was a lifesaver! Barbara insisted on bringing the cake and the plastic forks. She remembered the cake. What fun it was to leave the party in full swing to go to a Sam’s Club in the middle of a holiday Saturday 10 minutes away just to purchase forks! A word to the wise about entertaining: have a backup plan for every possible catastrophe!
I guess 20 minutes in a party setting really feels like 5 to the party goers. No one missed me, not even when the photographer got all the guests together under the cabana for a group shot!
Mamaw was so happy. Not only did she have a captive audience, but she received gifts that she says she’s still enjoying two years later. She was overwhelmed with the number of people who showed up on her special day to celebrate her. Later, I made her a photobook to preserve the memories of one of the beautiful days I’ve ever seen.
About leaning on my sister and her family…. Five years previously, Barbara had pulled me aside to ask me to host a surprise 85th birthday party for her mom. I agreed, and the invitations were sent out. Then I found out the Lego League had so many teams sign up to compete that year that they’d added a qualifying event in Hattiesburg, an hour and a half away, on that same date. There was no one else to coach my little Lego team, so I had to miss the party. I called on my sister to play hostess at my house, and she cheerfully reported that hardly anyone noticed that she wasn’t actually me.
In case you’re wondering if we are twins, she’s three years older. Don’t forget that.
